By 
Currently I am traveling with Mission IMPROVable performing at colleges and seeing the country. While some stops provide little entertainment, Duluth has two things that entertained me beyond compare: teenage punks with babies and the best breakfast I have ever had.
We’ll start with the punks with babies. As we approached our hotel in Duluth, I noticed some run of the mill, cigarette smoking, black clothes wearing, ugly kids on a corner. This was not too surprising. Most cities have this occurrence. However as we rounded the corner to see the rest of the pack, a tiny baby laid resting in a baby carrier as its 17-18 year old mother choked down another cigarette she likely bummed from the black hat wearing scrawny guy. This made me laugh audibly then feel bad for the tiny youth.
After getting into the hotel, I decided to get some coffee. The hotel didn’t have any in the lobby (what?!) so I ventured out into the streets. Upon my exit I ran into 5 more kids, one more baby, and a large volume of cigarette smoke. This baby was about 2 years old and was being introduced to cigarette smoke while lounging in a stroller. Again, the presumed 17-18 year old mother was smoking a cigarette she likely bummed from short, long black haired, tatoo bearing ugly fat girl. This made me walk hurriedly and then feel bad for the tiny youth.
The next morning after walking through a herd or two of punks smoking with their babies, I stumbled across something that I could laugh at and not feel bad about. This was a punk, smoking a cigarette, hurriedly walking with an empty stroller. I choose to believe that this mother (or father, the gender wasn’t an obvious one) either left their baby with some smokers, or this person just wanted to fit in and felt that a stroller would do just the trick.
All in all, I saw about 20 punks smoking, and about 6-7 babies being brought up horrifically.
NOW TO THE BEST BREAKFAST EVER!
I went to a local place called Uncle Loui’s. I asked what I should order to get the full experience, and that resulted in me getting a gyro omlette with feta cheese, about 2 potatoes worth of hashbrowns, and french toast that is cooked, then dipped in pancake batter and cooked again and topped with their home made cinnamon syrup. The omlette was awesome and the hashbrowns were perfect, but the french toast was the single best breakfast item I have ever eaten. The one piece alone topped the rest of the breakfast which also was among the best I had ever had.
I finished the whole thing, a testament to my love of food and apparently enormous stomach. The meal cost me about eleven dollars with tip and coffee but was worth so much more.
After I told everyone there how good everything was, a very weird looking cook told me a joke about NASA ( I was wearing a NASA shirt, I hope that prompted this horrific joke ). This joke reminded me that Duluth is mostly comprised of punks and people raised by punks as it is pretty mean and sad.
Cook – “Do you know what NASA stands for?”
Me – “Yes?”
Cook – “Need Another Seven Astronauts”
Me – …
Cook – “Need Another Seven Astronauts”
Me – “Again, that breakfast was really good”
Here’s a ridiculous trailer for Duluth. It doesn’t show any punks smoking with their babies or people eating breakfasts that will change their lives. It is, however, really dumb.
