By 
Today’s word of the day from the Oxford English Dictionary, the self-proclaimed “definitive record of the English language”, is skank.
Don’t get excited, it’s the verb form of skank, meaning:
1. trans. To throw (a person) over one’s shoulder. rare.
2. intr. To perform a freestyle dance to reggae music (cf. SKANKING n.); (hence) to perform or play reggae music. Also (colloq.): to sashay, strut.
3. trans. and occas. intr. To con, swindle, or cheat (a person).
I have been receiving both the Oxford English Dictionary, and the Merriam-Websters word of the day for a few years now, and I’m very curious about their selection process.
All of the Merriam-Webster words of the day are fueled by the questions, “What’s a not too scary word that would make people sound smart when using in conversation? Okay, now what’s one interesting fact about the history of that word they can whip out for when their friends and co-workers make fun of them for sounding fancy?”
Merriam-Webster’s process leads to some sweet words of the day, like cumshaw and leviathan. About 80% (not scientific) of their words of the day have latin roots, and the rest have an interesting quirk in their etymology.
The Oxford English Dictionary, on the other hand, has no such motivation. My guess is that there is a cabal of bored professors. There are clearly five of them, one for each word of the day in a week (They never got that memo about seven day weeks).
I do not know these five men, bu I can tell you this from observation:
Monday’s man is probably named Bernard Coopserschmidt. He’s the odd ball, picking words you’ve never heard of that are rarely in use. He has two children, both estranged. And he does not own a television. His most recent words: tartan.
Tuesday clearly has a woman’s touch. Her name is likely Carolyn Hemner. Her words are kitchy, often reminiscent, with “parade” and “theek” the past two weeks. She has a small clean house, four children, and a large dog named Bingley after the Pride and Prejudice character.
Wednesday is the new guy. Chester Patrick. Constantly mocked for his two first names, Chester became sullen and reclusive. He teaches his courses at Oxford by mail, and it is rumored he only appears twice a year to feed on failing students. He recently used “heartless” and “reserve”.
Thursday is always for the longest standing word of the day picker. In this case it is Molly Pumpersnoodle. She has two degrees, one in Biology and a second in English Literature. Her words often reflect her flair for science. She is on her fifth husband now, the last four tragically dying of mysterious causes. As the leader of the word of the day group, she is very totalitarian.
And finally Friday, my favorite day. Donald Schubert is the young man-child behind the Friday words of the day. Although he is 42, he has the mind, and sadly the body, of a 15 year old. Constantly being treated like a child stunted his emotional growth. But luckily for me, he chooses sweet words of the day, like “poop” and “skank”. Although his colleagues force him to change to the least juvenile definition of these words, we all know what Donald was getting at.
But I have yet to see “Boner” as the Oxford English Dictionary word of the day.
So we will have to give Donald a little help. In the coming weeks, I will be starting a petition and letter writing campaign to make “Boner” to Oxford English Dictionary word of the day. It will take all of us working together to succeed, but I know we can do it.
