By 
As part of Octavarius’s Gross week, I am going to make a sacrifice today.
Did I say sacrifice? I meant snackrifice.*
Perhaps you’ve recently heard of the latest KFC monstrosity known as the Double Down. If not, here’s a picture. You may want to squint at first so as to not let all of the Unholy Light of Satan enter your brain at once.
Double Down! Then Double Over as you vomit!
Bread? Fuck that. You get fried chicken instead. Not enough poison for you? Boom – bacon sandwiched by two kinds of cheese. Barbecue sauce or honey mustard? Fuck no. They’re giving you a sauce named so vaguely that you can only guess what assortment of elements have been cobbled together for it.
There’s no doubt in my mind that this culinary tumor will be excised from KFC menus within a month or two, and before that happens I will do the unthinkable: I will willingly put the Double Down sandwich into my own body.
There’s a KFC on Irving Park Rd, directly on my route home from work. I am going to order the Double Down today and report back later with a video review of this abomination of science.
Wish me luck, America.
*© 2010 Kraft Foods Inc. The bastards.
