By 
First off, happy New Year guys. I hope you all had a fun and memorable one. I know I did.
Pics or it didn't happen. Amiright?
Secondly, wtf Arkansas? What happened? We turn our back for a few seconds and you let the shit hit the ecosystem!
If you haven’t heard by now, about 5,000 blackbirds fell from the Arkansas sky to end their pointless, feathery lives. I don’t know about you, but 5,000 is just too many number of birds to have raining down upon my brow. THEN tornadoes went ahead and killed three people, damaged 27 homes and six businesses. All of this on New Years eve!
"Hey stupid! G...Good party"
If that wasn’t enough, about 100,000 drum fish then decide to join the party by showing up, dead, on the shores of the Arkansas river near Ozark. What the hell is going on Arkansas? How could you let this all happen in the span of a few days? I demand an explanation and/or several explanations. No? Ok, I’ll just make up a few.
Religious:
It’s hard for me to fathom any god’s will, because I don’t really know what to believe. I do think, however, that there is something about the universe that ties and brings us all together, so trying to decipher seemingly random natural disasters is going to be a little tricky. I mean, all these news stories sound like they came right out of that one book, right? Falling birds from up on high might mean that those who hold all the power in Arkansas should beware. The mighty will fall. Tornadoes running amok might represent the struggling ideals changing back and forth is doing nothing but hurting the state itself. Dead fish washing ashore could be understood to mean that the commoners will…all die? Hmm. Or uh, I dunno. Maybe it’s a sign from God that (s)he hates the Razorbacks.
"Go Longhorns, bitches!"
Coincidence:
Shit happens. Like…all the time. Is it possible that all this could have happened by sheer chance? Yes. This my scientific equation to prove it
Anything is imaginable/Everything is possible = None of this matters
So a few tornadoes touch down in Arkansas. Big deal. There were tornadoes reported all over the Midwest around the same time, because the climate was unusually warm and that’s what happens. OK, thousands of blackbirds fell from the sky at the same time. It was New Years eve and the combined stress of dealing with fireworks and the tumultuous weather could have caused all those birds to eat it hard. Now, I know what you’re thinking, 100,000 of the same species of fish dying at the same time is a little creepier. Yes, but it can still be explained by a simple disease that only that species of fish could be affected by. There. I win the logic party.
I am teh smrt.
Conspiracy:
Aliens dude. Aliens.
"Next on the agenda...fuck Arkansas."
Well, that’s all I got for now. Do all things happen for a reason? Is it all random? Are aliens fucking shit up? Who knows. Let’s just hope 2011 gets better for The Natural State and maybe the weird stuff will be spread around to the rest of the country. Most importantly though, let’s all hope I get many more kisses.
