By 
U2 is one of the biggest bands in the history of rock music. The group also features one of rock’s most mysterious band members, The Edge. All of the mystery involves the guitarist’s hat, which it would seem he has been wearing since birth.
I still haven't found what I'm looking for. Wait, never mind. I found it. It's on my head.
I have conducted some thorough research, and it would appear as if nobody has ever witnessed the man without his distinctive headwear.
Above: conclusive evidence.
What exactly is The Edge hiding under his hat that the world isn’t ready to see? Fear not, readers. My source at NUSI (The National Ultra-Surveillance Institute)*, who wishes to remain nameless**, has provided me with what is perhaps the only piece of photographic evidence of the secret that The Edge has been keeping from us this whole time. Birthmarks are normally nothing to be ashamed of, but in this man’s case I believe this is something that’s worth hiding. Please be sensitive about sharing this information with others…this is a human being just like the rest of us.
It’s tragic…but it does make you wonder why he decided to adopt the nickname “The Edge.”
*Likely does not exist.
**Because he likely does not exist.
