Dear Daylight Savings:
I must inform you that after 47 work quality counseling sessions with company management and 67 written warning letters about your poor work quality, there has not been an acceptable improvement evident in your work. As we discussed on March 13th, 2010, you had to improve your work quality by March 13th, 2010 to justify continued employment with this organization. The Nick Mikula is tired of your bull shit company has tried to work with you in every way possible to develop your work skills and to meet our quality production needs, with out spring ahead. Spring ahead to what? However it has become evident that your work quality is not up to the standards required of our employees in the position you were hired to perform.
This leaves me with no choice but to tell you that your employment is terminated effective immediately. Please return all company property to your little imagination land where people apparently dont need an extra hour of sleep after St. Patrick’s day, including your employee access badge (the one that says “Hell! I’m an asshole!”).
Sincerely,
Nick Mikula
HR manager of Nick Mikula is tired of your bull shit