By 
lets face it. its GOING to happen. the real question is what do i do first? here is a short list of what shit would change and quick.
1. Gladiatorial events. They’re back! But this time I’m not gonna watch two dudes fight. GAY! Instead, I’m going to watch an armor and trident clad gladiator, fight a minivan…..TO THE DEATH!! Or how about Denis Franz fighting twelve battle bots from the show BattleBots? I’m getting NYPD BLUEballed just thinking about.(thats right i fucking did!)
2. Marshmellows? Illegal……Cause i said so, thats fucking why!
3. Randomly, selected women will be altered at birth to not lactate milk, but orange slice, despite the health risks involved.
4. All rats in paraguay will be armed with mouse sized crossbows, and then re- armed daily. so anytime you are in paraguay you will be like “does that mouse have a …..fuck! FUCK! DAMN THAT HURTS!”
5. Bathroom? nono. “Indoor Boat Room”.
6. All of the art in the world, secular or nonsecular, shall be collected and used as pieces in a 50ft art statue of myself holding a fish thiiiiiiiis big.
7. Every ten thousandth cell phone shall be filled with killer bees.
8. The number 9(nine) shall forever be changed to ^#(quingo)
^#. The Moon shall have the words “Hey Macarana!!” etched into its surface. Because we made our choice and we should live with it forever.
10. “hey lets go swimming!”
“YEAH!…. wait we can’t”
“why not?
“Because its Thursday, and all water is electrified on Thursdays.”
“damn you’re right.”
All Hail Castellvi.
