Mein Fuhr-air Jordan?

I was watching TV not to long ago and I came across this seemingly normal Hanes commercial.  It starts off the same way as most Hanes commercials with Michael Jordan  doing something normal to let the audience know that, though son of Zeus, he still is one with the mortals.  Then he is accosted by some peon, usually Charlie sheen, who begins to ask him questions about Hanes, as if I’m to understand that if Michael Jordan is in public, he always gets questions about his plain white t shirt endorsements and not his incredible basketball career.  MJ says two words to the other person and then cashes his $250,000 dollar check.  this commercial is similar with one difference, see if you can catch it:

Now to answer your question:

Yes.  Michael Jordan DOES have a Hitler mustache.

Now to be fair, the Fuhrer and Air Jordan do have a lot in common.

1.  They are both iconic figures

2.  They both set record numbers in their field

3.  Both have questionable taste in facial hair

4.  They both invaded poland in 1939

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No, wait, sorry, Hitler did that.  Michael Jordan just thought about it.

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Now technically, it is not a 100% Hitler mustache.  I’m not blind, people.  It also

has shitty half-a-fuck soul patch under the lower lip.  It’s like he has two mustaches,  one to offend your when hes upright, and one to piss you off when he’s doing a headstand.  It is giving birth to the new facial hair craze soon to sweep the nation called “the hipster Hitler”.

Now I’m not saying that the great Chicago bull hates the Jews (I am, however,  thinking it pretty loud), but what in the world could possess the Duke of Dunk to commit such a terrible facial hair faux pas?  Did he seriously think that he could grow this on his upper lip and people weren’t going to notice that it strangely resembled the mustache of the most famous dictator in history?  I think  it probably went like this:

MJ: Hmmm…I wonder what I’ll do today with my growing mustache?  Oh i know!  Whatever the FUCK I want because I’m Michael Jordan.

Truer words MJ…

Unfortunately, Michael Jordan is allowed to do pretty much anything he wants until we find a dead Vietnamese hooker in his trunk.   who knows, maybe due to Michael Jordan’s pure heart and friendship with the Looney Tunes, the style will come back!

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Then again, no it won’t….ever.  HITLER had the mustache.

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Hopefully MJ will put on some weird grandpa sweater and tight pants and put on a fedora so that I can comprehend the terrible idea he had. But then again, if he did that he would be a fucking hipster and THAT is almost worse.

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Listen I don’t like it one bit, but until you get 7 consecutive NBA championship rings, shut the fuck up and smile for the fuhrer.

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To lighten the mood, I have included a picture of a kitteh with a Hitler mustache.  Not so bad now, huh?  Nah, just kidding.  Its still is pretty bad.  Cause of the WWII and all….

end.