By 
I have sent the following email to LeBron’s marketing team at LRMR:
I have an exciting proposal for your client, LeBron James. I am aware that he will become a free agent within the next 42 days and I have a proposal for he and LRMR.
I propose that your client, LeBron James, retire from basketball and join our improv group. For the rest of this proposal, I’ll be directly addressing LeBron, but you folks at LRMR are MORE than welcome to read on.
LeBron, also being 25 years old, I can relate to the feelings you are having right now, ‘What’s next for me (LeBron James in your case) now?’ After 7 years in the NBA, we think that you’re ready for a new challenge: improv comedy. Your focus and dedication to your craft are unparalleled and we feel that if you apply them to the craft of improv comedy, you will undoubtedly succeed. Through improv you will get to explore LeBron the common man, LeBron the singer, LeBron the goof, and live in a world of unlimited possibilities. We at Octavarius are a team that has accomplished many goals in our young careers. Including but not limited to making a fantastic pizza out of Jack’s Pizza, doing an entire show with a robot (Yeah, a real robot. It was fun.), and for making the word ‘boner’ and the Oxford English Dictionary more well-known to the general public.
You will not be alone. You will be flanked by some of the top young comedians in the Chicago improv scene. You will not have to feel the burden of carrying this team. We’ve carried a robot and with you, we would be able to carry even two robots! By joining our group, you would not only be our fellow ensemble member, you’d be our friend. We hang out a bunch. We podcast, watch fun stuff, go places, and make fun wherever we go!
We believe in you, LeBron. Come on, why don’t you slum with us for a while? It’s really fun.
Your Friend in Time,
Brian Wohl
Vice President of Octavarius, LLC
