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Not too long ago, Mikula made an up-to-the-minute commentary while watching Backdraft. Tonight I have decided to make a post in the same style. The difference, however, is that while he commented on a popular action movie, I am providing my reaction to tonight’s Home Improvement rerun (11:30 PM Central, Nickelodeon West).
For the maximization of your experience, here’s the synopsis, before either of us embark on this adventure. “Luck Be a Taylor Tonight. (1992) His sister-in-law’s marital problems are a lesson for Tim.”
11:30- First off, I’m surprised that Home Improvement has had the 11:00-midnight slot for as long as I can remember. The show must still have a fairly big fan base….?
11:31 – Tim and Al have been “doing an all-week salute to painting”. How is Tool Time even remotely watchable, let alone popular?
11:32 – Tim’s guest on Tool Time is putting a 120-coat lacquer finish on a car fender. This apparently flew as entertainment in 1992.
11:33 – Jill Taylor’s joke fell totally flat. But not for me. Because she used the phrase “giving myself a facial.” Sidenote: Patricia Richardson is hideous.
11:35 – Tim did a gay joke, and it went over “faaabulously.”
11:35 – I want to start an improv scene with the following phrase: “Tim, how can you think about poker when our marriage is falling apart?”
11:36 – JTT wins for worst-looking shirt of the episode. It even beats out Patricia Richardson’s. Really.
11:38 – You know how stand-ups get their own sitcoms based on their own comedy, and there are awkward moments where you can tell that this is just a monologue directly copied from an old routine? It just happened.
11:39 – Tim is giving me buddy a speech about how much of a better husband (read: man) he is. Surprise.
11:40 – Come to think of it, most every outfit on this show is pretty lousy. I’m not a big fashion nut, but I can recognize a fabric that was once a picnic cloth when I see it.
11:42-11:46 – Commercials. I’m getting a Klondike bar.
11:47 – Al has been ostracized for his knowledge of something mildly feminine. Surprise.
11:48 – Patricia Richardson is wearing the aforementioned facial mask. She has never looked more like a swamp beast.
11:50 – Al has been playing poker with the boys for hours. And he still doesn’t know what a flush is. Maybe because his mind was stuck on all of that do-it-yourself plumbing he does? Eh? AM I RIGHT, FELLAS???
11:52 – Wilson has been found in his yard doing something off-beat. Surprise.
11:53 – Wilson told a story about a tree and barbed wire. Tim probably won’t misconstrue it with Jill.
11:54 – Before I could even finish typing the previous sentence, he misconstrued.
11:55 – Tim Allen and Patricia Richardson could have just won at the TV equivalent of the MTV Movie Awards for “Least Appealing Kiss 2002.”
11:56 – More commercials. While I’ve got the time, I’ll let you know that this episode was pointless. Tim and Jill had no problems at all during the past 24 minutes. His vague friend comes along having marital problems, Tim solves it, and then Tim and Jill have a very small talk about relationships. This feels like the Jeff Foxworthy Show all over again.
11:59 – Tim finishes off the episode with a good mother-in-law joke. Shabang!
12:00 – It’s a bizarre, for-some-reason-mildly-islandy version of the theme song! I’ve never heard this before! What a pleasant surprise! Thanks, Tim!
Here's that picture of Tim Allen, come again to further haunt your dreams!
