Fast Food Quest 17: Back with a Vengeance.

Hey everyone! Boy, it sure has been a while, huh?  Don’t worry, I have still been eating fast food, I just haven’t been able to post and write about much lately with the Album Release and all the work that went into making the new Keith and Tinz album (Which you can purchase through this).

BUT! Now I am back, and I aim to catch up on these fast foods in the next few weeks.

First off, the Big Mac (how I went so long without reviewing it is a mystery even to me.)

So, we’ve probably all had the luxury of eating this two-tiered burger, but I probably hadn’t eaten one of these for about 2 years until a few weeks ago.  Let’s just say, it was exactly what I remembered it being.

The sauce makes the burger.  I typically don’t enjoy McDonald’s hamburgers, but this one does a pretty decent job of tasting good.  Plus, it comes in a cardboard box! All the other sandwiches have moved onto a paper box, but not this hefty fella! It’s still rockin’ the corrugated cardboard like it was 1996!

Needless to say, I devoured the beast pretty quickly.  I am, of course, a giant man, and a stacked burger isn’t necessarily enough for Keith.

I’d say this classic honestly deserves a 2 out of 4.  It isn’t that awesome, but it does taste different from most other burgers, so I’m going to be generous and give it

3 out of 4 attempts at taking a picture of the Arch in St. Louis.  Stupid cars.

Now onto the my McSideItem.  A salad!

It was average!  I chose the Caesar salad dressing because I figured it would be hard to make poorly, and I was right! It was pretty ok!  Not much to say here.  It’s better for you than fries, and it tastes like a Walmart salad.

2 out of 4 pictures of me having a great time!

Next on tha’ list, a what a burger from What A Burger!

Ok, I ended up taking the picture after a bite of this burger because I wasn’t intending on reviewing it.  Then I tasted it, and it was awesome.  It was just so delish.  The bun was toasted, the condiments were in perfect proportions, it was just all around delishlish.  You can add so many things to this burger for no extra cost too!  If you happen across one of these wonderful fast food establishments, be sure to grab a what a burger.  You won’t regret it.

4 out of 4 PICTURES OF MY HAND!

Oh boy! Here Comes McDonald’s Filet-o-fish!

I’m not as put off about the half cheese itself, more that it was clearly torn by hand.  Why not a full piece of cheese? Are we cutting back McDonald’s?  Can’t afford whole slices of something that can barely pass as real cheese?

Whatever.

Yeah it was pretty average.  The sandwich is just so bland!  I know fish itself is bland, but the tartar sauce is there to make it better, and it just doesn’t do it’s job.  But looky here! It comes in cardboard too! Perhaps all original sandwiches still come in cardboard and I’m just too dense to realize it!

Whatever.

1 out of 4 angry seatbelt Keiths

WHOPPER TIME!

Nummers! This is actually one of my favorite fast food burgers.  When it’s done well, it’s a 4 out of 4 in my book, but today, the meat was a little overcooked.  It was still pretty tasty.  But allow me to reminisce back to my first ever Whopper experience.

*sexy dream music*

I was a freshman in college at Illinois State University, and we had a Burger King in the Bone Student Center.  It was a friday, and I had given myself a rule that I could only spend flex dollars (money on our meal plan that went to non-dining center food) on Fridays.  It was Flex Dollar Friday, and I was pumped.  I decided I needed to finally get a Whopper for the first time.

It. Was. Amazing.

So amazing, that I bought a whopper junior almost immediately after devouring the Whopper.  But this allowed me to realize Burger King’s fatal flaw.  The Whopper Junior is about 3/5ths the size of a Whopper, but is only $1.oo.  The Whopper, is around $2.69.  Do the math.

Soon after this realization, I began buying 2 whopper juniors and getting 6/5ths as much satisfaction for less money.  If you haven’t figured this out yet.  You’re welcome.  Save some money, get fatter.

I am going to give this the rating it deserves.

4 out of 4 pictures of fly as hell Keith’s

Lastly, from Wendy’s, something new and different! The Asiago Ranch Chicken Club.

It has asiago cheese, ranch dressing, a fried chicken breast, and applewood smoked bacon.  Actually, you can get the chicken in grilled, homestyle (my choice), or spicy.  Either way, it was really good.  It was a little messy, what with all the ranch, but it was a really good chicken sandwich from the Queen of fast food chicken sandwiches.

Let’s talk about this Wendy’s bacon for a minute though.  It’s awesome.  Awesome, awesome, awesome.  They really have stepped up their game.  It’s thick cut, crispy (but not toooooo crispy), and terrific.  It’s become the hero of many items on their menu, and rightfully so.

This sandwich knocked it out of the park.  At the risk of losing credibility, I’m about to give another great rating.

4 out of 4 super artistic photos