By 
Chris Bogue here, reporting with your latest breaking news about Tinz. It appears as though he has finally conquered Twitter as he vowed to do in 2009. Allow me to take you back in time to a not too distant time.
Crafty bastard...
It was the fall of 2009 and Twitter was not quite as popular as it is today. Tinz, an eager young pup at the time, was anxious to leave his mark all over this promising new social technology. “Observe as I conquer Twitter!” he proclaimed, as he announced plans to permanently cement his legacy into social media history.
He knew conquering Twitter would be no easy feat. Such a simple, easily-accessible formula has limitless potential. The ability to easily engage in conversation anywhere in the world with any number of every day people has proven a powerful enough force to overthrow governments! To conquer Twitter is to penetrate into the heart of the world’s collective psyche. Tinz knew he could tame this wild new frontier. After all, he had a plan: #ihaveaboner4
Tinz knew if he could get #ihaveaboner4 trending, the world would be his. He was certain Twitter users would eat up #ihaveaboner4 like hotcakes. It would sweep through the Internet, being retweeted and trended until the Twittersphere was completely saturated. Suddenly John Q. Hipster somewhere would be eating a bowl of chili, then have the compulsion to pull out his iPhone and tweet “#ihaveaboner4 this white bean chicken chili!” Your dad would be tweeting that he has a boner 4 NBC’s Chuck and your boss would announce to the world she has a boner 4 getting an awesome parking space on a Friday night right before she was about to pay to park in the garage. Yes siree, Tinz was going to be remembered.
The cocky sonovabitch was right
Fast forward to 2011. Much to our collective chagrin, only a few loyal Octavarius fans used #ihaveaboner4, and even that was short-lived. Typing #ihaveaboner4 into the search area today yields zero results. To the common man, it would appear as though Tinz utterly utterly failed. Then suddenly, Tinz was a success for no god damn reason.
While #ihaveaboner4 is no more, typing “tinz” into the Twitter searchbar today yields thousands of results.
So just what are people saying about Tinz?
Apparently tinz is a convenient abbreviation for “things.” Ya know, as in These are a Few of My Favorite Tinz, or that old saying “some tinz are better left unsaid.”
So in the end, it doesn’t really matter if Tinz’s boner joke didn’t have the influence he dreamed of. His nickname is so badass, he won Twitter and didn’t even know it till I told him.
Well played, sir. Well played.
