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Hey gang, this Saturday America’s most beloved fake news men are throwing the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear. They already have over 200,000 confirmed facebook attendees so it’s gonna be a big one. Pretend journalists will rule the day so it’s only fitting Octavarius jumps on the comedic political statement bandwagon. Tinz, Keith and myself will be at the rally tweeting and taking hilarious pictures and sharing them with you, our beloved readers.
As a fan of Stewart/Colbert and a relatively politically-minded citizen, here’s a few of my expectations for what will happen Saturday.
Stewart and Colbert Will Avoid Talking About Politics
I would be really surprised if Stewart and Colbert spent their three hours trashing Glenn Beck, the Tea Party, and everyone currently running for office. Jon Stewart has stated in interviews that he does not plan on making the event political. The idea was born when Reddit raised over $100,000 for charity to get Stephen Colbert to throw a “Restoring Truthiness” rally. Realizing the potential for hilarity, the two comedians decided to throw a mock rally lampooning the top two driving dynamics behind today’s political landscape with Stewart rallying for reason-based discussion and Colbert marching for over-the-top paranoid fear. Stewart has said the two comedians will “battle it out Harry Potter/Voldemort” style. Sounds hilarious to me.
Stewart keeps saying he has no idea what the rally is going to be. The beauty of the Daily Show is it’s mostly him saying funny things inbetween clips of politicians/media people being hypocrites. They don’t make up fake news, they just hold a funhouse mirror up to the day’s current events and let us see how dumb we all look. I’m guessing Stwart and Colbert will bring the funny, the guest stars will bring the entertainment, and the crowd will bring the politics.
The Guest Stars Will Rock
Mavis Staples and Wilco’s Jeff Tweedy will be attending the rally. Additionally, some of Colbert’s biggest musical acts are rumored to make an appearance (Elvis Costello, Toby Keith, and Willie Nelson to name a few). Likewise a petition has been circling on the interwebs to get Bruce Springsteen to play at the event. With three hours of entertainment to kill, the music is sure to be awesome. I’m personally hoping the Boss and Toby Keith will help bring out some of the older Tea Party types. I suppose a rally of a few hundred thousand goofy 20 year olds with facial hair and ironic t shirts could be fun, but some variety would be better.
There Will Be Hilarious Signs
No longer will the Tea Party hold the monopoly on off-the-wall hilarious protest signs. Octavarius is busting out the cardboard and Sharpies and traveling to Washington to join in on the fun. Jon Stewart is encouraging his fans to bring extremely rational signs.
While Stewart’s sign is all well and good, I’m going the Colbert route and bringing a terrifying sign. Since they announced the rally, I’ve been absolutely giddy at the prospect of being able to march in Washington holding a sign that has the word “Fartbama” written on it. Come Saturday, I will be actively looking for patriots at the rally who likewise speak out against Fartbama and all the socialism he farts.
There Will Be Garbage
Rallies are big and the protest signs, hilarious as they are, produce a ton of trash that needs to be picked up.
Fun fact: This sign is both comedy gold and trash
Fortunately, Jon Stewart is raising money to Help Restore the National Mall. The 200,000+ group of people will certainly leave garbage, but at least all the money we raise will go right back into the National Mall to pay for the cleanup. Who knows? Maybe a bunch of evil recycling dirty hippies will help clean up. If not, Stewart can just leave a giant sack of cash amongst the garbage as a thank you.
The Real Story Will Be in the News Coverage After the Event
As always, nobody really knows what to make of Stewart and Colbert. While the two profess to be nothing more than clowns, they are generally more respected than most of our country’s politicians/media people. Stewart was once voted the most trusted name in news, which puts him in a strange place. The rally is all in fun, but an event this big has to mean something. Nobody really knows what to make of it. Best case scenario, the rally will provide a day’s worth of good times and fun. It’s supposed to target “the busy majority” of people who care about the country, but are too busy to rally and speak out. If all goes well, maybe some of the rally’s attendees will develop a taste for political activism and go on to play a more prominent role in the country’s political discourse.
Of course there’s always a flipside. If the predictions of a bunch of shitty right-wing blogs are true, Stewart and Colbert’s pansy environmentalist pot-smoking hippy fans will get violent and burn the National Mall down in a big angry riot. Also, Obama and George Soros are secretly planning and financing it. And Jon Stewart should be arrested for treason…for some reason.
No matter what happens, make sure you follow Octavarius on Twitter as we cover the event all weekend. Cheers!
