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Last night in a shocking turn of events at the Iowa Straw Poll, Rick Santorum’s brilliant “drive a truck around Iowa while everyone else fucks up” plan went off without a hitch, and now he’s ahead of the other not-Romneys to contend for the Republican 2012 nomination.
For those unfamiliar, Rick Santorum is a Republican people haven’t really cared about for some time now. A former Pennsylvania Senator, Rick’s last name is an anal sex joke on the internet, a blow landed on him by columnist Dan Savage in response Santorum’s remarks equating gays and lesbians to people who have sex with animals.
"These gloves will help protect my family from the gays"
To everyone anyone who thinks unlimited corporate donations as a result of the Citizens United Ruling threatens the integrity of our democracy, to you I say at least it’s entertaining. As long as our politicians are hiring corporate marketing firms to sell their messages to mainstream America, expect politics to continually become more like reality tv.
So why be angry? Let’s take all these shitty government lemons and make some lemonade while late night comedians, the 24 hour news networks, the Internet, and the other Republican candidates torment Rick Santorum for a few days.
Happy 2012 everybody! Let’s make it a good one!
