My friend Karl rules. He studied symbolic systems, mathematics, Patrick Swayze, and Oprah while at Stanford. He’s not only good at math and relating to computers, but he’s also good at being funny and relating to humans!
Your friend Karl’s mom wouldn’t even let him watch The Mask without parental censorship until he was 13! LAME! My friend Karl is a vegetarian by choice. Your friend Karl eats only Hot Dogs and Pizza because “textures bother him”.
My friend Karl, makes funny photo albums on Facebook. Like Funny Pictures of Things Riding Other Things and Children Sitting on the Laps of Strange Things.
Your friend Karl’s facebook photo albums have titles like: It’s winter on my street.
My friend Karl is going places. I might not be able to see him as often as I’d like, but he’s WAY better than your lame-ass excuse for a human friend Karl.