My Chicago Sports Rodney is Throbbing Today

So today, April 1, 2011, my sports boner is at full attention. Your flag should be flying high today too and here’s why:
1. Opening Day at Wrigley

Hope springs eternal on opening day for all baseball teams, but it matters most for the godforsaken lot known as Cubs fans. Being one myself, I have slogged through horrific collapses, meltdowns, Bartman blame games, curses, Milton Bradley, the deaths of Harry Caray and Ron Santo, Tyler Colvin being impaled in the chest by a bat, Adam Greenberg becoming “Moonlight Greenberg” (after being beaned in the head and ending his career in his first at-bat), many Gatorade machines being destroyed by Carlos Zambrano, and being forced to listen to Joe Buck do commentary for nationally televised games on FOX. BUT, this year is a new year! There is hope on opening day and there is always potential for my Cubbies to turn it around no matter how high the odds are stacked against them. Being a Cub fan has strengthened my character and has allowed me to truly cherish victories and how to deal with failure. And today is the start of a new day. On opening day, hope springs eternal.

2. The White Sox are taking on the Indians on their opening day.

"Juuuuust a bit outside."

I know we all love the movie, Major League, very few things prove this more than the immense popularity of Charlie Sheen. Not to mention the awesomeness of Wesley Snipes, Tom Berenger, and the great Bob Uecker. But the real Indians are horrible people and if you grew up a Sox fan, then you must hate the Cleveland Indians. It’s in your blood. Especially in the 1990s with characters like Albert Belle, Manny Ramirez, and Roberto Alomar, it’s hard not to hate them. Even though Belle became a Sox player, he was still a dick. So I can’t think of a better way for the Sox to open the season than to open it against longtime division rivals, the Cleveland Indians.

3. The defending Stanley Cup Champion Chicago Blackhawks are in the playoff hunt AGAIN!

Although they are not as good of a team as they were last year when they went all the way, the Chicago Blackhawks have played their way into the thick of the Western Conference playoff hunt for the THIRD YEAR IN A ROW! Tonight, the Hawks visit the rough and tumble Columbus Blue Jackets. Although the Blue Jackets are not nearly as talented of a team as the Hawks, they will try to win the fight if they can’t win the game. Expect a physical, tough game, with lots of chirping between benches, and a few cheap shots between division rivals.

4. THE BULLS ARE AWESOME THIS YEAR!

Tonight, MVP favorite, Derrick Rose and the first-place Chicago Bulls will visit hated rivals, the Detroit Pistons, and try to pad their lead in the Eastern Conference. If you haven’t watched these Bulls yet, do yourself a favor and watch these guys play. Derrick Rose has exponentially raised his game this year and Luol Deng is having the season of his life! New coach Tom Thibodeau, recommended by the Obama administration to the Bulls, has these Bulls playing championship caliber basketball.

5. STACEY KING is calling tonight’s game.

Stacey King is quite possibly the best color man in basketball today and is making his case for a Hall of Fame career as a broadcaster by injecting his personality into the Chicago Bulls broadcast. This dude makes basketball fun and he knows what he’s talking about. Drinking games are made around his commentary and tales of his awesomeness are prevalent throughout the interwebs. Here is one of my favorite calls of his remixed by a fan.

6. My favorite NBA player of all time will get his jersey retired tonight.

Many Bulls fans idolize Michael Jordan. I very much love MJ and his drive to be the best player of all time. But the player I most identified with as a boy was none other than the greatest rebounder of all time: “The Worm”, “Dennis the Menace”, “Bad As I Wanna Be”, DENNIS RODMAN. With 7 consecutive years as the rebounding champion of the NBA, 5 championship rings, the greatest rebounding average per games played, and his electric personality, Dennis Rodman brought a color to basketball that has left a lasting effect. Tonight, at halftime, the Detroit Pistons will retire Dennis’ number 10 forever. I will be watching tonight and I am glad that someone whose sheer will, drive, determination, and unselfish play to get that rebound every time for his team will be honored tonight. As a celebrated entertainer, author, and athlete, Dennis Rodman has been a great influence on me and I am so proud to see his number retired tonight. Even if it’s in Detroit 😉