Hello, my name is Brian Wohl and I understand you’re looking to hire a personal secret agent. I am highly qualified and indispensable to your operation.
I have many talents. Including but not limited to: basic understanding of at least 2 languages, basic bike-riding, I am excellent at watching and/or reading things, I type, I also am good at identifying what is funny as opposed to not funny, and I have many other secret skills which you will learn if you hire me.
I am a student of the world. I am proficient in science, conflict resolution, inter-species relations, and lucha libre.
I also am a master of disguise. I can blend perfectly into any situation.
I don’t want reveal any more of my secrets seeing that I trust you’ve made your decision to hire me by now. The true question is can you afford to hire Brian Wohl, personal Secret Agent?