By 
Dear Meryl Streep,
We think you're great!
Quit acting in movies and join our group. You are an incredibly talented and versatile performer. I believe that with your talent, you could easily be a fantastic improv comedian. Octavarius is doing our best to make shows that are fun, entertaining, and challenging artistically. We feel that you would be a fantastic addition to our group.
Your performance in Sophie’s Choice was heartfelt, subtle, and true. It made me hurt for Sophie and be angry at her for making a choice. This would serve you well as an improv comedian providing grounded scenes with excellent character work. Your relationship with Stanley Tucci in Julie & Julia was not only genuine and fun, you also brought out excellent needs and high stakes in your work. Something that is very important in improv. You also have a great sense of humor in all of your television interviews. It might take a rehearsal or two before you pick it up. Just so you could at least feel comfortable performing with someone like Keith.
I understand you might be having a rough week, not winning another Oscar and all. I know that you might feel unappreciated by your “peers”. 16 times the bridesmaid and only 2 the bride. Well, with us, you’ll always be the bride. We’re all for one and one for all. We hang out a bunch. We podcast, watch fun stuff, go places, and make fun wherever we go!
We appreciate you Meryl. Come on, why don’t you slum with us for a while? It’s really fun.
Love,
Brian
